University of Oregon

Sure, in any state the denizens love their big college team. But take a state with an isolationist bent, a solitary pro team, and people with more pride than shame, one giant middling institution, and you have a recipe for Oregon with a side of fashion disaster.

Many is the time you'll be walking along a trail (de rigeur in Oregon), minding your own business as you try to figure out what all the fuss is about, only to pass a middle-aged couple adorned in matching green and gold with either a big O -- not in the awesome sense of "big O" if you have any functioning brain cells -- or the whole word "Oregon," in case the other people subjected to your garments are too dumb to figure out what the colors and giant "O" might possibly refer to.

And 98 percent of the time it's not even a game day, which is when, in saner states where things work right, you'd be subjected to these silly duds.

Think about it: This means these people woke up, at worse hung over and in need of caffeine, and they still pulled their thoughts together to come up with matching sweatshirts and hats. Bravo, friends. Bra-vo.

There's even Duck Store, which conveniently lets you know it's a store by putting store in its name, dedicated to outfitting these people in their preferred attire. Not just people, but their dogs, too. That couple, on the trail? They had a dog on the leash, and guess what? It's flying the colors too, yo.

Aw, how cute! Back at the parking lot, look, there's an SUV with a gigantic green O decal on the back. It's a more succinct way of saying, "I am bland, can't think for myself and peaked in college." If you liked that one, you'll love the drive home, because there will be more of those stickers on other SUVs, maybe a ginormous truck or two, because if there's on thing these presumably college-educated geniuses have figured out, there is safety in numbers.

(Photo from UODuckstore.com)