The answer to this dilemma, of course, is that you are a tool (rhymes with "Thule") and quite possibly an entrenched, full-fledged Oregonian if you have these kinds of problems in your life.
Here's the deal, broseph: I'm considering the purchase of a lifestyle-enhancing roof rack and a sleek, locking, streamlined box that will protect my gear -- fly-fishing reels or creels or whatever, extra tubes, lube and headlamps for my bike and full cavity searches (spelunking, anyone?) -- when I cruise around with it on top of my Subaru, Xterra and/or Prius. And face it: It'll look wicked bitchen plastered with Dutch Bros stickers.
What? There are two popular brands? Shite, dude. Which kind do I buy?! Do I get a Yakima Roof Rack or a Thule?! Man, are decisions ever hard to make. My ... my brain hurts. Help!
But cognitive dissonance is in the mind of the beholder, and I'm nothing if not here to help. Because I know what a sad, terrible corner you could paint yourself into should you make the wrong decision.
Ready for a little Pinkwater succor, sucka? OK then.
1. Go to the roof rack store and yak with the sales person. (Yes, they actually have stores that cater to gearheads and all their roof-rack needs. If that ain't Xtreme, I don't know what is.)
2. Buy one, or go to wherever they sell the other brand and buy the other brand there. It doesn't matter.
3. Mount your new Thule or Yakima cargo box on your roof according to instructions.
4. Lock yourself in it, because that would be really Xtreme. Ask your friend to help you out. No, it's never Xtreme to require a friend's help under any circumstances, but dude, sometimes you just have to ask for help.
5. Finally, if you don't suffocate immediately, ask a friend or family member to drive you into a cold mountain lake. Remind them that it's the least they could do since this will be the last favor you'll ever ask of them.
Perhaps they could use your newly purchased cargo box as your coffin.
Admit it: That would be 101 percent punk rock, broseph.
(Photo from Yakima.com)
2 comments:
hahah — that's so NW.. there's a subaru thread to be found in there too.
Sorry, Subaru? What's a Subaru? Is that a pizza place?
Post a Comment