Seriously, what is the deal with Oregonians and their love of bluegrass and Celtic music? They're way too tall to be leprechauns, and most of these people don't seem all that Irish.
And bluegrass. Ugh. Honestly, what is there to say? I know you expect more yuks in this blog, but seriously. I can't even get it up to make fun of bluegrass. It's like kryptonite to a guy raised on electric guitars. It's the opposite of awe-inspiring. It's awe-draining.
In terms of music forms that need to be hung up, bluegrass is up there with, sorry purists and Americana lovers, the blues. Boring! By and large, bluegrass band names have to be the least creative since the '90s skatastic ska revival. They love to put "ramblers" in the name, as in "Puke Lovin' Ramblers." Well ramble on, please, away from my ear space.
But the biggest mystery of all is how much Oregonians love Billy Joel. Every one of them owns at least two copies of Glass Houses. They're issued at the hospital, like infant car seats. "Pressure," "Uptown Girl," "River of Dreams" and "Piano Man": You name it, it's blasting from SUVs and hybrids alike.
Not really. Billy Joel is the furthest thing from the collective Oregonian mind, which is basically like one big solid gray lump of damaged brain. (Imagine the biggest wad of gum ever, and that's the collective Oregonian mind.)
Perhaps that's to their detriment.
Say what you will about ol' Billy, the guy could write a hook, and knew when to end a song. As recalled by your boy Avi over here at Stuff Oregonians Like's office, there weren't a lot of fiddles and harps and shit in his music. Plus, he wrote "Only the Good Die Young," and going by his logic, Celtic and bluegrass can't be any good, because they refuse to die.
Pinkwater out, bizitches.
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2 comments:
Hmm. Interesting blog. From your acerbic wit and general disposition, one might discern that you are possibly an ex-skater or extreme-sport enthusiast. I would probably take a wild guess and say that The Beastie Boys or Black Flag are more your musical taste. Your grammar and writing are commendable, so it might not be a stretch to guess that you work at the Sister’s Nugget or, possibly even Bend’s own The Source. I look forward to reading more of your blog in the future. In fact, I think I might even bookmark that shit.
You sound like a jerk.
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